What's Wrong With Me?

Today I took me a 2mile walk cause I really haven't been exercising the past few days and thats not good for me because the scale doesn't seem to be moving in my favor.I still have a 45 lb loss but earlier in the week it was a 47 but looks like thats gone its a damn shame that even though you stick to the points if you don't exercise you gain wt something is wrong with that picture.I'm seriously thinking about going back to my 1800 calories diet it worked very well for me and I only exercised 3 days a wk and I loss over 25 lbs in less than 2 months.and it hasn't come back.but still I'm happy with my progress just 3 1/2 months ago I was 45 lbs heavier and my intention was to loss 55 lbs but since then I've decided that 105 is better for me and my health.And who knows I just may go all the way and loss more than that.But for right now I will take it one day at a time one week at a time.But I know I will have to diet strict next week cause I am going to really enjoy Thanksgiving eating all my holiday favorites that are forbidden on a regular basis.I think I will do one of those quick 3 day diets to flush out the bad foods.Yeah thats what I will do.Wednesday I'm going to PineBluff to spend the holiday with my son.The good thing is all the food will stay up there with him and I'm only staying 1 nite over so I can't gobble up all the food but I will take home a piece of turkey its ok to have that.I'm goin to skip my weigh in this week I'm kinda glad that way I want know how bad I do on Thanksgiving plus it gives me a few days to get back on track.But thats a scary thing to know that everytime you eat a piece of cake or a slice of pie you gain wt instantly well at least that's how it feels to me.That lap band is sounding better and better to me.I jus can't see losing all this wt and gaining it back just because you go out to dinner and have dessert.I don't know I'm just feeling a little down I guess here it is the holidays and I'm alone again this year makes you wonder about a lot of things then my granny isn't here to spend it with me she's been gone 3 yrs now and I haven't been in a relationship since.I wonder if there's a connection.Lately I can't even watch a romantic movie without feeling sorry for myself.And I love romantic comedy.Today is jus not a good day for me I really feel sad and it seems like no matter what I do it gets worst but I don't feel like crying or anything like that its just a void in my life I guess.IDK I'm not a psychiatrist.Well goodnite talk to you when I get back.